The Recovery Guy Podcast

Episode #238 The Fix; Recovery is not an Event

People are often dismayed and even discouraged that not drinking or using is only the basic requirement for sobriety. Let me assure you. Sobriety ONLY comes over time and when a program of recovery is followed and practiced. It’s not so much as to what plan of success you follow, as much as it is that you follow a plan that has worked for others. Be blessed.

 

Episode #237 The Fix; Positive Affirmations

Positive Affirmations is a topic inspired by my daughter Carol. Sometimes life is very encouraging and sometimes it’s like being a rat on a wheel. Sometimes we feel stuck in the middle of being held captive and being set free. The best safeguard to being in between or feeling like we’re on a roller coaster is positive affirmations.

Episode #236 Tuesday The Fix; Boise Speaker Meeting July 23, 2022

Being invited to speak in Boise was a wonderful opportunity. Part of my recovery is sharing my experience, strength, and hope. I am blessed to have been given this time. I hope you enjoy this talk. Please share it with someone you care for.

Episode #235 Tuesday the Fix; Characteristics of Addiction

When it comes to characteristics of addiction there are many aspects and facets that we need to look at to come to terms with our personal condition and move forward in our recovery. Without characterizing our addiction, we will not have a sufficient jumping-off place to diagnose or treat the addiction. The same could be said for getting in your car and not having a destination in mind. We could drive all we want, and we would never get anywhere. Enjoy this podcast and please reach out to Alcoholics Anonymous of Greater Detroit in Ferndale MI for more information regarding the information that we discussed today. Also please visit my personal and professional friend Burke brown by going to www.berkebrown.com

Episode #114 - Friday The Checkup: Acceptance

What is it about acceptance? Why must I learn to accept people, places, and things to achieve peace. Why can it be such a distraction before I settle on acceptance? The answer often lies in the definition. I will then read you a quote and we will move forward from there.

One of the definitions for acceptance is to endure without protest or reaction.

So, here is the quote. BB pages 417 4^th Edition

....." And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, or situation - some fact of my life - unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes."...

Here are some things we can do to not let things in life be a distraction. Let’s ask ourselves these questions that would construct our internal response.

1. Why does it bother me
2. Can I change what bothers me
3. Does it bring harm to me or others
4. Does it interfere with my present life or goals
5. If I can change it what is the most efficient way
6. What can I do to limit distractions such as this in the future
7. I am insisting on living life or giving to things that would steal my joy

Acceptance is not mandating me that I must agree with everything. It does quite nicely lend itself to the serenity prayer. “God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.” 

If I can’t change something it makes no sense for me to fight it as if I could. Matter of fact, it distracts, distorts, and detours me when taking care of the things I am responsible for and able to change/improve.

Episode #113 - Tuesday The Fix: Those Along The Way

Those Along The Way. Every person who accomplishes something great rarely achieves this on their own. The value of others contributing is often lost in the moment. If we lose them in the moment, we don’t carry them forward with us. As any child is better off knowing their family heritage you and I are better off knowing who was instrumental on our road to recovery. As a testimony to that, I am going to list some names of those who stand out as significant to me in my life. Let me say the list is much longer than I will discuss, but the ones on the list have been paramount to me. Do you have a list? I am going to give you my list, but more importantly, who is on your list, why are they significant and how are you using them to enrich your life and be to others what they were to you?

1. Who is on your list
2. Why are they on your list
3. How are they impacting you to this day
4. Do we contribute to others as they contributed to us

Let us write the names of these people on the template of our hearts and Those Along The Way. Let’s always hold them near and dear. The sweet memory of those from our past helps give us a positive reflective present and set the stage for an exciting future.

Episode #112 - Friday The Checkup: The Stages of Change

The Stages of Change. Almost 20 years ago, two well-known alcoholism researchers, Carlo C. DiClemente and J. O. Prochaska introduced a five-stage model of change to help professionals understand their clients with addiction problems and motivate them to change. Their model is based not on abstract theories but on their personal observations of how people went about modifying problem behaviors such as smoking, overeating, and problem drinking.

The six stages of the model are:

Precontemplation 

Individuals in the precontemplation stage of change are not even thinking about changing their drinking behavior. They may not see it as a problem, or they think that others who point out the problem are exaggerating.

Contemplation 

Individuals in this stage of change are willing to consider the possibility that they have a problem, and the possibility offers hope for change. However, people who are contemplating change are often highly ambivalent. They are on the fence. Contemplation is not a commitment, not a decision to change.

Determination 

Deciding to stop drinking is the hallmark of this stage of change. All the weighing of pros and cons, all the risk-reward analysis, finally tips the balance in favor of a change. Not all ambivalence has been resolved, but ambivalence no longer represents an insurmountable barrier to change.

Action 

Individuals in this stage of change put their plan into action. This stage typically involves making some form of public commitment to stop drinking in order to get external confirmation of the plan.

Maintenance 

The action stage normally takes three to six months to complete. Change requires building a new pattern of behavior over time. The real test of change is long-term sustained change over many years. This stage of successful change is called “maintenance.

Termination

The ultimate goal in the change process is termination. At this stage, the alcoholic no longer finds that alcohol presents a temptation or threat; he has complete confidence that he can cope without fear of relapse.

Nothing happens in a vacuum. We did not get sick overnight and we don’t get well overnight. Wellness is a process. I hope you engage in the process. Once you have reach termination, I hope you continue in the maintenance to stay changed. These are The Stages of Change

Episode #111 - Tuesday The Fix: Happiness Doesn’t Just Happen

Life is what you make it. I know this was true for me in my active addiction and it is true today. From time to time, life has a curveball waiting to throw my way. That is the exception and not the rule. It does mean, for the most part, I am the reason for my happiness. I decided upon actions that most always determine my happiness. I think this is universally true.

I will discuss the 10 Things Ms. King suggests and as always put my twist to them. For a fuller read of this article click on the link at the end of this description.

Happiness
a state of well-being and contentment  
a pleasurable or satisfying experience

1. GIVING - Do things for others.
2. RELATING - Connect with people.
3. EXERCISING - Take care of your body.
4. APPRECIATING - Notice the world around you.
5. TRYING OUT - Keep learning new things.
6. DIRECTION - Have goals to look forward to.
7. RESILIENCE - Find ways to bounce back.
8. EMOTION - Take a positive approach.
9. ACCEPTANCE - Be comfortable with who you are.
10. MEANING - Be part of something bigger.

Episode #110 - Friday The Checkup: Taming Toxic Shame

Toxic Shame. Richard Gannon defines Toxic Shame as a neurotic, irrational feeling of worthlessness, humiliation, self-loathing and paralyzing feeling that has been inflicted onto an individual through repeated, traumatic experiences often, but not always, rooted in childhood.

Essentially, toxic shame is what happens when feeling badly about aspects or the totality of we are is as if it were stamped into our DNA.

This is one of the reasons there is no quick fix, we will likely require the help of someone else and we may not accomplish complete removal in our lifetime. Having said that, there is hope for us. We must first identify Toxic Shame as a block wall in our life. If we don’t go around it or find a way through it, we will spend our lifetime pounding our head against it.

As people of recovery, especially those of us who are alcoholic or drug addict, the first thing we MUST do is make a daily commitment to not drink or use. When we are under the influence very little of substance will be absorbed our acted upon.

Let’s look at some things we can do to minimize the negative results of Toxic Shame as we reduce it from our identity.

1. Recognize that we are suffering from something we did not do to ourselves.
2. Realize that people who bring us harm were likely harmed themselves
3. Be willing to forgive others
4. Share, share, share and just when you think you have shared everything share more
5. Establish positive reinforcement statements and practice them throughout the day
6. Change old playgrounds/playmates that have any associations with the shame
7. Seek professional help without guilt
8. View the progress as a daily journey not a predetermined destination with a timeframe
9. Love others as you with to be loved

Taming Toxic Shame is something that is very necessary for most all people. Most everyone has experienced on some form or another. As mentioned in our definition, for some of us it has become paralyzing. Together we can overcome this and live wonderfully productive and healthy lives.

Episode #109 - Tuesday The Fix: Getting Smashed

Getting Smashed. How do we get to the place whereby we view our life up to recovery as a destructive force that needs to be SMASHED?

Here are some things that I think are universally true. I say they are true because for over 34 years they have worked in my life and the lives of countless others.

Please understand I am going to use the 12 Steps of AA as my central point of reference.

1. Self-examine what actions got us to the point of recovery
2. Be objective in evaluating is what I am doing normal or is it delusional/psychotic behavior
3. Be willing to reach out to someone who cares for us
4. Decide how badly we want to change the course of our life
5. Find a plan that have proved successful for someone that can be verified
6. Evaluate obstacles and become willing to move them out of the way
7. Know that any occasional failure is not the end (failure is an event, not a person)
8. Approach each day with a renewed commitment
9. Practice positive reinforcement characterized by personal affirmation

When we do these things, we stand a very good chance the delusion will stay SMASHED. If the psychotic notion of being successful with our negative behavior stays crushed, we will be able to live the life that the addictive lifestyle kept us from.