The Recovery Guy Podcast

Episode #105 - Tuesday The Fix: Sabotage of Self Part 2

Sabotage of self is one of the most unnecessary yet common problems of people in recovery. We expect people who are on a destructive path to continue to sabotage their progress. They are already on a path and negative destruction and sabotage seems to be a part of their daily process. But what about those of us who are in recovery? What about those of us who are on a path to wellness and becoming whole. Why do we act as if we are the enemy as we are trying to be part of the solution. Please let me know what you think. Your contribution through your comments carries great value to me. I hope you can remove yourself from the sabotage of self and get on a healthy side of living that is consistent with the desire you have for your life.

Sabotage - an act or process tending to hamper or hurt
b: deliberate subversion

Subversion - to pervert or corrupt by an undermining of morals, allegiance, or faith

1.      Consider your past and present.

• Present circumstances are usually based on past behavior that we don’t break free from.
• Maybe you let yourself be drained emotionally or physically.
• Ignoring your own needs to be freed from the bondage of negative behavior.
• This way of living might have become the norm for you.
• Think about the people you surround yourself with.
• Are the relationships reciprocal?
• Is there a healthy give and take?

Beyond relationships, your environment might be unhealthy, too. We must make sure that we not only change old playmates we need to change old playgrounds,

2.  Make self-care a priority.

• Use our past results to determine if doing the same thing in the present makes sense.
• Giving yourself permission to put yourself first.
• Ask yourself, “Do I really want to end up back in treatment?
• What if someone else or I am harmed?”
• When we do this, our need and motivation to set boundaries become stronger.
• Self-care also means recognizing the importance of your feelings and honoring them.

These feelings serve as important clues about our wellbeing and about what makes us happy and unhappy.

I hope this has helped you see yourself differently. We can be our own best resource or our own worst enemy. The choice has been our choice. Walk in Wisdom and choose wisely.

Episode #104 - Friday The Checkup: How We Heal

For today’s podcast, I am using some thoughts and practices by my dear friend Suzy. Suzy and I met through IG surrounding a family challenge she was having with someone in her life. The opportunity with this person didn’t prove productive at the time, but out of it came the relationship Laura and I have with Suzy. If you want to learn more about this amazing person you can go back to August 8, 2019 for that podcast.

Before we get into what Suzy Says regarding How We Heal let’s define Heal

 

• to make free from injury or disease : to make sound or whole
• make well again: to restore to health
• to cause (an undesirable condition) to be overcome
• to patch up or correct (a breach or division)
• to restore to original purity or integrity

5 Things to consider with How We Heal

1. I keep working my program
2. I look for opportunities to share
3. Remain vulnerable and authentic
4. Be intentional about keeping my message consistent
5. Just do it. . . share.

We can get hurt or harmed accidently, but How We Heal is a systematic approach to living.

Episode #103 - Tuesday The Fix: Healing While Hurting

If there is anything I have learned about life is that it occurs with or without my permission. Obviously, if it only occurred with my permission only what I wanted when I wanted would it worked for me.

Since that is not the case, I learned early on in recovery that I had to live life on life’s terms. I also learned that, for the most part, I could at least have say in life’s course based on what I did or did not do.

As Bill Wilson so aptly stated (page 133 Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous), "Avoid then, the deliberate manufacture of misery, but if trouble comes, cheerfully capitalize it as an opportunity to demonstrate His omnipotence." In other words, don’t be my own enemy, but if needed rely on God to see me through.

This might seem logical for the person who hasn’t suffered from addiction or a behavioral dysfunction, but to those of us who have this is something we have to learn as a child would learn how to walk. The great Zig Ziglar said "You can tell some of a man’s character when he wins and you can tell it all when he loses."

In recovery, I would paraphrase to say, you can see how a person says they handle life when everything is going their way and you can what they are really made of when their apple cart gets turned upside down.

What to do when life throws us a curve and we are left hurting.

1. Develop an unshakable relationship with God
2. Stay close to those who value add to your life
3. Always have a gratitude list ready to go
4. Be active in serving others
5. Get and maintain closure
6. Wash, rinse, repeat

If we do these things over and over and apply good decision making along the way, if won’t keep us from hurting, but it will be better equipped to Heal While Hurting.

Episode #102 - Friday The Checkup: Getting Out of Our Way

The original quote was “We have met the enemy and he is ours” was from Admiral Perry after his defeat of the British Royal Navy in 1813. The organizers of a 1970 Earth Day Celebration hijacked the quote to meet their purpose as “We have met the enemy and it is us”. Either way you view it there is some application. Sometimes the original quote is appropriate while a/t times the parody fits better.

I believe one indicates how we should view obstacles as something to overcome, where the other is more about getting out of our way.

• Objectively evaluate what our main objective is
• Consider and count our resources
• Develop a realistic timeline in achieving goal
• Monitor progress along the way
• Don’t be discouraged if progress is coming slowly
• Understand that smaller battles can win wars
• Share what we learn and have victory over

The enemy is only us we I give it permission to be. Victory is eventually mine when I see it as mine.

Episode #101 - Tuesday The Fix: Removing Boundaries/Barriers That Hold Us Back

Barrier something material that blocks or is intended to block passage
barricade, fence, hedge, wall

Barriers are good except when they allow the rise of boundaries that keep positive people, events or concepts to help us.

Boundary something that indicates or fixes a limit or extent
cap, ceiling, confines, end, extent, limit, limitation, line, termination

Boundaries are good except when they are barriers to otherwise healthy helps

• Trust incrementally in respect to others and what you share
• See what others do with the removing of barriers or bound
• Realize in most cases what people think of you can’t harm you
• The gains we can make most always exceed the discomfort
• Don’t let me something or someone be the reason you don’t succeed
• Surround yourself with people who can be trusted
• Give your eye on the prize/goal

Amanda Palmer, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Let People Help Me.

Episode #100 - Friday The Checkup: Recovery comes in many ways

The word recovery has different meanings to different people. In the clinical sense recovery refers to a condition that a person experiences when they have overcome a particular mental, emotional or physical diagnosis. When it comes to addiction and other behavioral choices recovery takes on a much more broad definition. There are so many different ways a person recovers and words we may use in describing the recovery.

I have listed below some words that would refer to or be part of your recovery journey. These are words that we can associate with a person who was pulled from a particular peril or life threatening experience or behavior.

Reclaimed -  to regain possession of
Redeemed - to extricate from or help to overcome something detrimental
Salvaged
Restored

Episode #99 - Tuesday The Fix: Follow Robert Along His Path to Recovery

Follow Robert on his 30 for your journey of recovery as he speaks to a group in the park in Bountiful, Utah. Robert explores all of the ins and outs of his personal journey and what he recommends to others as they seek life long recovery.

Episode #98 - Friday The Checkup: Random Thoughts

I hope you are looking at your recovery as an ongoing project. It has to be ongoing. If we stop doing what we did to get to where we are at we run the risk of falling to where we started and even further back. We must view our recovery as a journey. The minute we think it is a destination and consider ourselves as someone who has arrived we are in danger. Please understand and practice that our new found value needs to be used in helping others find their way. It is likely you got to your level of accomplishment with the aid of someone else. Let’s be that someone else to others as well. Most importantly, let us explore how many areas of our life this new found way can benefit.

Episode #97 - Tuesday The Fix: Staying Focused in the Now

Staying focused in the now (today) is more challenging than it appears. The easiest thing to do is get ahead of ourselves. Today is the bigger and more important than yesterday and even tomorrow. WE can change anything about yesterday any more than we can predict how tomorrow will turn. That leaves us to TODAY. Please use these 5 suggestions as a way to approach and process today. Also, check out this power reminder by Steve Harvey, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yWDo-y-tK7k

 

Here are here suggestions Randy Garn advised us to adopt for Today’s approach

 

1. Today - Have a very clear detail execution plan for a successful day planed out and live it!

 

2. Today - Believe and act as if everything you want for yourself and your family is possible!

 

3. Today - Do not allow other people’s limited perceptions define who you are or what you are becoming!

 

4. Today - Do the best you can, with the best you’ve got!

 

5. Insure that you are living out your dreams and not living in your fears.

 

Please share this podcast and content for you and others to become more well.

Episode #95 - Tuesday The Fix: The Art of Becoming Whole

Kintsugi is the Japanese art of putting broken pottery pieces back together with gold — built on the idea that in embracing flaws and imperfections, you can create an even stronger, more beautiful piece of art. Every break is unique and instead of repairing an item like new, the 400-year-old technique actually highlights the "scars" as a part of the design. Using this as a metaphor for healing ourselves teaches us an important lesson: Sometimes in the process of repairing things that have broken, we actually create something more unique, beautiful and resilient. In my research, I came across this chef turned author by the name of Candice Kumai. Candice is best known for her clean green smoothies, matcha confections and healthy comfort foods. But in her new book, Kintsugi Wellness: The Japanese Art of Nourishing Mind, Body, and Spirit, the classically trained chef takes us on a different journey to healing and health by exploring the powerful message behind Kintsugi.

Kintsugi has elements of synergy. Synergy is the interaction or cooperation of two or more organizations, substances, or other agents to produce a combined effect greater than the sum of their separate effects.

Here are some things I thought were Kintsugi is relevant to our personal recovery.

• It is the perfect compare and contrast between what I did and what I do.
• Who I thought I was and who I really am.
• My ability to connect with others
• Those I connect with can use my restoration as evidence they can achieve this as well
• My reminder that I need to continue in my forward progress
• That absolutely anyone can be restored from whatever their past was
• If we can recover from this what else can we accomplish
• Knowing that we have a message that starts from within and moves outward